You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
