I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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