I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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