So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
