I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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