Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
