i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
