well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
