so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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