We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
