The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
