he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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