so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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