Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
