That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
