On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
