never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
