i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
