I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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