i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
