Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
