Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
