talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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