You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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