Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
