Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
