I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
