is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
