Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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