You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
