Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I came so hard my ears popped.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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