Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
