Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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