It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
