we're chasing vodka with high fives
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
