marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
