If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
