He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
