I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
