I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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