About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
