do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
