walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
