He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
