I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
