What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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