So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he had hair everywhere except his balls
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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