Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
operation have a gay friend backfired
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
