my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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