sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Soap is not a condiment
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
