I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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