what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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