Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
