I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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