dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
