I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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