I accidentally had phone sex last night
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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