Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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