"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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