Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
