You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I am available for nakedness
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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