Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize