the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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