happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i need some magic done to my vagina
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
